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It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

can we talk about how this is still getting notes

The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.

Reblogged from fishingboatproceeds  5,673 notes
  • Neighbor:

    So, Pizza?

  • Me:

    Oh, yeah, its a.... an inside joke?

  • Neighbor:

    Oh, so you made the shirt yourself?

  • Me:

    Oh, no, not at all

  • Neighbor:

    oh, ok...

  • Me:

    No like, do you know that movie that came out in theaters? Um, its called (Don't say the abbreviation, don't do it).... The...Fault In Our Stars?

  • Neighbor:


  • Me:

    Yeah, the author of the book, this is his face (points at shirt)

  • Neighbor:


don’t tag anyone in California in the ALS challenge


UNLESS YOU KNOW that they can afford to donate the $100.

We are in the middle of a HUGE drought and water/energy bills are expected to spike in the next couple of months. If you’re still going to do it, stand over some plants that you would have watered anyway.

SUPPORT THE ALS CAUSE but do not support wasting water in the middle of a drought that’s only getting worse.


KNOOoow sooomethin…i gotta range. i got a range like NO mothafucka KNOWS. come to think of it i’m gonna g- i’m gonna make him BALD and make him, and make him SWEAT ACID. and i think i’m gonna give ‘im weird bladder problems, and romantic problems- you know what, the WHOLE THING. i already SAID that fuckin thing, you missed it. where were you on that one, o’keefe? eyes on the prize. FOCUS! don’t just look at her ass, EAT IT. mY BADGE MY WIT- oh shit. eeuuhhhhh auuauuaghh wOSH- calm before the storm- fuck it. meOW MEOWWW. WOAH- NOPE. RAAAHHH RAGH. BOOO. what’s so funny about it, i don’t get it. y’mean, yev neva heahd of, the millennium falcon, it’s the ship that made the kessel run in, unda twelve pah-secs…AY, does ya mothuh sew? BOOM, GET ‘ER TO SEW DAT

  • Track: Hidden Track
  • Artist: Fall Out Boy
  • Album: Unreleased
  • Plays: 63233